dilemma

DILEMMA

is the word.

Read my lips; dilemma. .

it's been three weeks now. .i'm feeling uneasy, restless, the excruciating pain down, inside out whereever you want it to be. But for sure it is emotionally. Well, now i sound like i'm emo.

I hate this feeling. . . unfortunately I can't seem to avoid or ignore this feeling which is and has been bothering me. . I am trying to convince myself to go forward and make things better, but something is stopping me. .

My ego, the ever on going roller coster, the things you said to me. . is indeed stopping me from trying to give in to you and make things better for us.

I though over and over again, thinking maybe it would be a different story if i were to do something about it. But thinking about what you said recently. . .

"Never have I ask u 2 come back running 2 me."

YIOUCH! it hurts. . .it only goes to show that you don't need me and you are taking me for granted what more appreciate me? So what is the point of me making things better and being the one who goes back to you when we are at our worst times? tell me? somebody?!

I know, many have been asking me why am i still here or with this selfish, irresponsible, insenstive person on earth and that i deserve better.

Honestly, i'm not sure. somethings are just unexplainable. .maybe there is a reason to it i guess. oh but whatever it is. . .it hurts inside here. .you've hurt me emotionally, physically and disappoint me gazillion times that i lost track. . .

3 weeks before after the incident you realise that you were at fault but said you won't apologise just because you do know there is no need to if you're not going to change. . .So when will you change? when is the a'har moment going to happen? or are you planning not to change? You know you are at fault and yet, you still prefer to ignore and pretend as if nothing has happen? how could you? what are you? as hard as a rock? or steel? which is it? or are you even a human being? that you don't even spare a thought about someone whom you claim you love.

SHAME ON YOU!

I DESPICE PEOPLE LIKE YOU !

say what you mean and mean what you say. . .

don't talk the talk but walk the talk. . . .

anyway, at times i wonder why is it that when things happen, guys whom i don't think would call me or text me up would do so. . wierd. . is it a sign? hermm. .

till then. . .